1.25 - the end of the end, and the beginning
releasing anxiety from the physical experience
When I first tuned into the theme of this week’s healing, I received the message of loving self, of delight, lightness of the mind, the heart, the body. This work - especially when you’re one goal is the eternal peace of the unified divine, to know the self as healed - will bring you directly through the center of all that you hold in opposition to the Truth of Love.
This week, that was an incredible amount of anxiety, felt within and without. As I tapped into it throughout the week, it very clearly moved from shadow to light in the way I was perceiving. The first phase was heavy shadow, bringing out to unravel deeper and deeper layers of anxiety from my own field and tracing back the narratives being held. This was showing up for me as the classic anxiety restricted chest and a sharper sense of how I hold tension in my body throughout my muscles, fascia and nerves. I cried a bunch (it’s a transmutational superpower, don’t let anyone tell you different). It inspired this week’s recording, which goes hard on physical codes of the mother and what came through as the “elemental ascension of the physical body matrix.”
In the collective field, I’m not interested in giving more internet space to the absolute horror show that is taking place in the false matrix as it comes apart, but if you live on Earth - anywhere - I’m sure you have tapped into this too. This week, following the events of this past Monday, has felt like a changed landscape to me, an almost harsh barren anger and fear at the level of security. Because the collective of separation perceives the body as life, when it is threatened, the death fear really comes to a head. Anxiety springs from a belief in lack of security and safety based on a past of experience that you are not safe, not secure, not stable. Paying attention to anything happening in the false field will trigger this to the max.
On Earth, we are feeling through and experiencing the end of this era of time. My dear friend Kira shared a folk artist she loves, Sibylle Baier, a few years ago and her album Colour Green still circulates on my Spotify shuffle. As I was sitting down to write, asking the field what is to be seen, unraveled, and shared about this theme of anxiety, her song “The End” started to play. This whole album is perfect melancholy and absolutely beautiful, and this song is especially tinged in grief. “Time is over”, she sings. And throughout the week, I received this message over and over. In a very real sense, time has been ending since it began. But this particular phase is very much the end of the end. And in that, we are revealing and purging everything, incredible change is sweeping through the field. This is sending some people into unbelievable behavior, into further spiraling into fear and resistance to change, it looks violent and scary and from down here, it is. It is overwhelming grief, a paralysis. The question is, how we shift our attention from the shadow shit show to the light of the Truth of what IS, and allow that to inform our vision to be extended and shared, to weave the new, to reveal our eternal creations, and to reunite with our eternal Life, when the shadow is just too damn loud.
I write about this maybe every time, but we can’t loose sight of how much we need each other, how much the realization that our minds and life is shared is the key to our freedom. Our inner field IS the outer field and vice versa. The illusion of separation is just that - illusion. The field is shared and our genetics are universal. We all hold the history of time in our “personal” layers. It doesn’t matter if it “happened to you”. If it happened to anyone, it happened to us all. We heal as one, or we don’t heal at all. We can’t heal or experience our selves healed and hold “other” as a concept when thinking about life in this universe. It is One life.
What we witness on the news, or in our communities, or in our heads and our bodies will scream at us that there is cause and justifiable reason to defend and attack, that there is another life, another force to blame. That you have been put in this position, this cage, this back foot, this well, and that you are not responsible for your release. It may be that the concept of freedom is so deeply buried that the possibility of freedom is not thought of.
If you look at it from the belief that what is happening here on Earth is real, that anxious and fearful reaction and state of being will be justifiable to you. It can sound harsh, but if you want to dissolve fear, your false identity that you made for yourself and the world, you must be willing to accept that fearful belief is insanity and completely unjustified because of it’s unreality. If you look at it from the perspective of the eternal spirit, you will not see sides, you will not recognize fear, you will see One sleeping mind that you gently call awake from your Self to your Self with love. If you want to see and experience the Love that you Are for and of yourself, you must do so for all others. We cannot hold judgment, blame, vengeance, anger, or defense and attack if we are to know ourselves and realize freedom. We must put them down and abandon them for the insane and impossible beliefs that they are.
As I was reminded of in a client session this week, when we are seeing “results” or “effects” in the physical, we can be assured that the work has been done in the more expanded dimensions from which this set flows. Physical change results from the rewriting of the code that dictates the form and in this universe, this is at the level of belief in the mind. The work of unity transmutation is such that these lower dimensions will essentially disappear and we evolve into new elemental form, new physics, new previously unforeseen or imaged experience. They won’t disappear, however, when we are giving life to them. And this is the work. When we have made the choice for love, for the undoing power of forgiveness, for unity and we hold that, we accept it for our Self, then the physical must change. I don’t usually receive the message that the healing I do is specifically for the physical body, it usually comes through on much more expanded levels and I see it kind of trickle down and through into form. But this week, and in the past few maybe, have been different. The mother codes that have been working through my form and consciousness are very specifically for the ascension of the physical form. This, I think, should be cause for celebration!
The message really is of a victory of the sun/sol/soul. It’s a message of having anxiety for no reason. This is triggering AF, I know. When you have experienced very traumatic things, the last thing you want a healer to say to you is that your feelings are unjustified. But we must see this about the false beliefs that we have of ourselves. We cannot coddle our delusions and hold them and expect to be free of them. Again, from the fear-based, lackful, separated and headed for death identity that we hold of ourselves, clinging to protection mechanisms and narratives of trauma is understandable. Do you want to continue to condemn yourself to this identity and through that all others of this universe, or do you want to be free?
The anxiety is the felt crumbling. Remember it has to fall so that the new can emerge. We are being called to focus ONLY on the eternal strength and love within so that it can shine and emit and build that new world from the emanation of our being. We must accept ourselves as that being to experience true joy (important to remember that it is not selfish to choose love of self, if you are not included in the work that you do, the forgiveness you offer and the perceptual shift of perfect peace, it is incomplete) and to really create. Only loves creates and those creations never leave us, for in true creation, there is no where to go and no time to pass them over.
Changing our minds, shifting our perception, examining our belief and letting go of our belief in the false identities we have made for ourselves takes effort - creation does not. I have written before about creation vs. production. It’s important to remember that the world we have made in fear is not of creation, it is “separate”, cordoned off, a bubble. Creation is only in reality and we refuse to accept our Self in reality, we separate ourselves from the awareness and joy of it in our mind.
When we allow our minds to be illuminated by truth and we release all barriers of limitation and blockage, everything we hold in opposition, we allow for love. Love is a creative force, it is and it is not of “doing” as we perceive that term in purely physical false masculine terms.
Healing is not creation, it is correction so that we can realize ourselves home as One with all creation, in the field of the limitless. This enlightened field is not of perception as we know it, and this is what makes letting go of the false, of the world of dreams so hard. We can’t see where we are going, we must trust in a force that we have built a world to refuse and hide from. Everything we have made we have made against the knowing of the eternal, of the world of freedom and unity. We must remember not to continue to look there for our Self, for our release. We must look to our eternal life within.
In the dream, and so much of what we are perceiving with our ego mind these days, anxiety is streamed into and of our field (we can’t lose sight of our making of this, it is the only way we can unmake it), through catastrophic apocalypse programs, archetypes and narratives, which are of distortion. They are deceptions, they are not written in stone and destined to happen. The future need not be like the past.
Don’t be afraid of love, which is what we are. We may not know or understand what comes next, but when we seek for the foundation of the true Self and abandon all else, it will be shown through you and of you and for you. We must begin to believe that it is for us. That god is for us, that everything in creation is for our benefit. There is no force outside of us working against us, the universe is a neutral being but neutrality is unconditional positive regard and love. We give it life and meaning from within, it does not exist from it’s own side without. This grounding in the foundation of Truth will ease and dissolve all anxiety because you will know safety.
Remember, you cannot give what you do not have. To spirit, what you are and what you have are the same and that includes your experience of it. The dream of fear, the ego, the false identity, the deception will tell you that sacrifice is of love. This is a lie. Again, if your own experience of your mission, of healing and love does not include yourself it is no complete. You can only truly offer what you believe you are. It is all now. Don’t get discouraged or get caught in believing that if you do not feel peace in every single moment that you are not helpful, not healing, not a healer or capable of freeing yourself in the world. We must learn to take all of this less seriously, despite what we witness in the false world. This is detachment.
Time is not of spirit, but it knows what to do with it in ways you designed your ego to hide and reject. Accept that it could be so easy as to give your perception to spirit, knowing it as your Self. You are not meant to be doing this alone, you could not. Remember assistance, togetherness, unity does not require the closeness of other people’s bodies. We are not our bodies, we made them. The level of the body is never where true connection takes place, it is not where we are joined, we made them in defense of joining.
Remember unity codes are written to break down limits of separation and so the body, all matter in the world will lose density and change. Do not be afraid of this process. It is what we want, what we have asked for in our acceptance of release. It is the healing of the world. I was reminded that after the resurrection, when he returned, Jesus’ friends didn’t recognize him. Moreover, he told them not to cling to him. He wasn’t being a touchy bitch, he meant that the personality self is not the true self and that if we cling to our self-concept in separation, we are losing sight of our true Life. We are not looking with the eyes that truly see. Our reality is not this life. Don’t cling to your body, to your physical life as you know it or to the old paradigm. It is dead and you live.
Don’t cling to “time”, to expectations of what this change looks like or “when” it will happen. don’t let this keep you from experiencing joy right now. It is always happening. it has been happening since time began, the one has been calling you home ever since you chose to experience separateness. you are free when you choose completely to be free. in that moment, you are home because you never left. this is not for the future, the future doesn’t exist. it is for now which is all there is. it is for you. each moment is the moment of our release. remember we don’t change the world, we change ourselves and the world that emanates from us changes. clinging to the “new earth shift” narrative can lead to clinging, attachment and narrowing / limitation of the ascension / natural evolution of consciousness. it is of the ego, even if the topic is spirituality.
Act as though you are alive, not dead. Believe as though you are alive and you bring life with you wherever you go, not dreams of fear. You share and extend this life, and its eternal source, with you wherever you go.
You could never be defeated because we are together. Practice training your mind when you are anxious or fearful. Practice believing that god is for you. Life is for you. You are provisioned, you are cared for. There is no justifiable reason for fear. It is a bad idea you had that you have hitherto since been unwilling to let go of. Let go of it now. You don’t need it. You will never find yourself there and your Self wants to be known to you, wants you to know your Self as Love. Seek for your Self in the One light of the Truth that you Are.
Anxiety is needless. It is never justified. It is not a trait of your identity. It is not useful. It does not help you. You are never in danger and so it does not warn you or protect you against anything but yourself. It sends a signal out into the field that you anticipate the future to be like the past and so you experience the past in the now, extending it into your future. It is an idea that you have about yourself that you have made.
We do not heal the effect because it was not made there. Like Frodo brings the ring to wear it was made to be destroyed, back to the source, so we must meet our fear, our belief where it was made, in our mind. We heal the cause, which is choice of thought. The cause of anxiety is the cause of all pain and fear for the cause of this world was in the choice to believe a wrong idea, a madness. To believe it is an attack against the self.
Something I read this morning brought me back to the narrative theme of the week, this transmutation of the shadow of anxiety and the hold we have on it, into the light. It felt like the perfect culmination of the shadow into the light. Instead of looking at the world in fear, believing it from its own side, and trusting in the false reality to tell us who we are and what we deserve, we can choose to give a different meaning to this experience.
From Martin McInnes’ 2023 novel In Ascension:
I was returning late one afternoon to the village when I noticed it - a feeling that something unnameable had changed…
…It wasn’t the scene around me that was different, as I came back into the village, it was my relationship towards it…
…I had the impression again, of difference, a certainty not only that something had changed, but that this change was being demonstrated, was being lived, all around me. I wondered if I was witnessing the beginning of a festival, the quiet early stages when everything is still being set up…
…And yet I could feel it, palpably - something new was taking place right now. Standing there, I tried to pinpoint exactly what it was, but I couldn’t see it. Enjoy it, I told myself. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Enjoy it for the feeling itself.
