1.11. resting in certainty

Over the past few weeks, my friend Jenn, one of the instructors at my spin studio, has been reminding us of a song lyric. I don’t remember what the song is, but it sings of birds. It is not the branch birds trust when they land, but their own wings. Their own inherent ability to fly is their guarantee of safety and security. Their very nature as a birds, what they ARE, is the only insurance policy they need. It is given that they will be successful. They will live and thrive and continue to fly on even if the branch is unsteady, even if it breaks and slips out from under them. They are supported by their nature. 

We don’t believe this, but we are the same. Our eternal divine nature, our source, our life, our creation, the One that we Are, is our Truth. This Truth is the only sustaining force that we need look to, it is our guarantee of safety, of abundance, of comfort, of success in our search for our meaning and purpose. It Is our meaning and purpose. It is this Truth that is the answer we are seeking when we look for peace, for freedom, for release, and for the divine Itself. It is certainty. 

This message came about as I was sitting in the energy of everything that’s been kind of moving into place lately in my own life and everything that I’ve been looking at in the deepest, densest levels for release. It’s been a deep embodiment, an actual physical/matter world perceived evolution of form that is “grounding” or “landing”. I’ve never experienced such certainty. I’ve shed layers and layers of inorganic code, of limiting belief, of the walls that we’ve built up around what we think is ourselves, our bodies, this littleness we’ve made of ourselves. I’ve been dedicated to this work for years and this particular grounding is unlike anything I’ve experienced before. This brought up ideas of “manifestation”, of being able to tell what belief you are manifesting from, of really walking the walk - if you will, of truly extending your will and accepting it back for and of yourself, for your enjoyment, imprinting the enlightened beliefs that we are currently accessing, accepting, and remembering on the field experienced around us to be shared and lived. 

This is important, obviously for this time in our rapidly changing world, but more importantly for your own peace, for your own release, for the moment to moment experience of your life because it is your only destiny to remember who you Are! You are important and you do not need to suffer. We made that up!!! Period!!! Why wait one more moment believing that you are less than the eternal love that you really, really Are? It is the only thing the One wants for you and it is up to you, and to all of us for ourselves, to accept. To accept it for yourself is to offer it to all others when it is True. It is not easy because it is the opposite of everything that we have literally ingrained via our code into us from eons of apparent time, since time began. Indeed, the idea of opposition itself is WHY time began.

I’m tired of giving in to fearful belief, to looping thoughts. I do not want them anymore. I refuse to believe that it must be that I am fearful or sad or disappointed or to believe I am lacking anything. I refuse to offer that to this living field. I deserve more, you deserve more, everyone deserves more. I deserve to know what I am because it is what I am and I will that it be here in this field where I am because I am. 

While I was writing what came through of this message last night, I thought so clearly and believed so strongly, “I want people to see this! This can really help them.” I have always felt this way about the work I share, but I can’t describe how this time felt different, felt more real. There is no urgency in reality, but from our perspective in the world, because we believe in death and all that comes along with it and so experience it, there is. 

I’ve been doing so much work in the etheric realms, very intentionally and consciously over the past 7 or so years, unraveling the limits to and within more expanded dimensions, undoing all of this time, these stories and traumas and memory and beliefs we carry with us down here, which have become to me synonymous with genetic and frequential mutation over multi and inter dimensional “spaces” since time began. A trillion billion alterations to the organic code. 

While this takes an incredible amount of dedication and effort, it inevitably brings clarity to perception. Clarity about what we Are is the goal, what we are is peace. Adopt peace as your only goal and this perception comes. This enables us to witness and remember the power of our minds, to see how our beliefs emit thoughts and these thoughts emit form, extend outward and inward and fill in this experiential matrix which is our world. Clarity in perception allows you to witness how you’ve made the world, what you made of it, and what beliefs you are making it from. Remember you are always making it, it is always emanating from your code / frequency. What you hold, you emit. 

Clarity in perception also allows for the light of the Truth, for actual knowledge of reality to shine through and enlighten your perception so that you can be healed. When you open your mind to the possibility that there is another way of perceiving, that other way, which is from the eyes of the spirit, emerges because you have opened to it. These are your real eyes. They are not your bodies eyes, but they are You. 

For me, the themes lately have been that now is the time to truly bring all of the results of this healing work into form for the collective and for my own joyous experience, to know life as joy. To bring a new form, a more expanded, more unified code, a different experience. To allow the visions that I have had for myself, the community that I can feel around me and within me, and the offering of the work to others in a more public way to flow through into this new, more enlightened form. It’s time to reach more people, to have more fun, to stop being so serious about the Work and share it as it was intended, to release pressure and limits, to remember we are here for joy.  

Clearing and purifying myself with the intention to offer this work to others, to heal myself enough to embody the most unified and purified healing that I am capable of is the Work as I see it. Many days, it feels very hard, it’s very intense, it looks like everything awful you can imagine unraveling from you as you witness what you made. It takes strength. It takes a dedication to neutrality, to accepting the unreality of the world and giving up all that you thought you wanted in it. It has been the most intense journey of getting to the core of all of my insecurity, self-hatred, fear of other people, certainty they would try to hurt and disparage, abandon and even kill me. I’ve confronted and passed through disbelief in myself as One with god, as being worthy of living and being happy and experiencing abundance, of being capable of making any of that happen, of being effectual in the world at all, of anyone seeing or understanding me. I’ve healed not wanting to live, not trusting myself or trusting god, not being safe, in any of this even being worth it, of hating this place, of feeling weighed down and drenched in rot, unworthy of recognition from anyone and certainly not worthy to help anyone - how could they take advice from someone who has been so low, so underground, or believe that I could help them or have access to purity and reality when I have wanted to give it all up for naught and for good? I am often reminded of a quote from ACIM, “Your joy must be complete to let His plan be understood by those to whom He sends you”. 

Over the past few months, I’ve been able to see, to get to the root of how I was seeing and using even that beautiful guide through the eyes of my ego. Using it to put so much pressure on myself to purify so that I could be of some use, so that I could justify why I am here, using it and the experience of my physical life - still having a day job I don’t like, not having as “successful” of a business as I wanted, my social circle being small, spending much of my time alone - as evidence for why I am incapable and unworthy of doing and having any of the beautiful things that I see and deep deep down know are possible for me. Maybe you have felt that way too in your spiritual practice. These are limitations of the ego, spirit does not sing that song. 

While you look to the world that you made with the perceptual mechanism with which you made it - the ego - to free you, you will always see evidence of fear and you will always be able to justify your fearful delusions about what you are. That is what the ego was designed (by you) for. The ego is the master deceiver, this can never be understated. These beliefs go deep deep deep and because you are consciousness (here. in reality you are part of what all consciousness springs from), your delusions are too and you will perceive them trying to attack you (via your thoughts or other people, events, etc) while you believe you are worthy and capable of attack.

Our minds is so so so unfathomable, but we have the effects and the experience to show us it’s power. All of the belief we have in fear, every time we feel pain or do not have peace, we see this power for ourselves. I bring all of this up just to say, 1. I am with you, I am you, I am walking this same path we are all on, I have experienced insanely scary trauma, abuse, violence, manipulation, deception, abandonment, instability, death-wish, multidimensional perception that made me feel schizophrenic and insane on Earth and have believed horrible, disturbing, depressing, dark dark things about myself. I have used, am still using, the process of spiritual alchemy to work my way through and out of these beliefs and you can too. We do it together always and I always offer it to you. (I believe that’s what Jesus meant when he said I offer you my body. I offer you the Work and Way of my physical life which we represent with our bodies. I do not believe he meant that we should symbolically (or worse) cannibalize him.) 2. the power of our minds is no joke. We believe horrible, very untrue and very unreal things about ourselves. These beliefs are what make the world we see, and we need to unmake them to be free of this world. The time for this is always now.

It is important to be gentle with your Self, but know who and what your Self is. Being gentle with yourself is not justifying your delusions, not giving into false identity and ego belief about what you are and what you deserve, but loving yourself enough to be ruthless with them. Do not accept attack thoughts, fearful belief, judgment of yourself or others, because that is not of love and love is what you are. You will only see yourself this way when you are willing to give up all that you are not, all that you made when you were mistaken about what it is that you are. Love yourself enough to believe only the best in yourself. Know that you do not show this to yourself via your ego, the light of the Truth of what you are will show you when you have had enough of looking for yourself where you could never be. 

As I’ve purified clarified my perception and witnessed that purification flowing out through the dimensions, I’ve been able to see how much I was still emitting from these wounded places and how much that was actually repelling everything that I was trying to create. In lower and lower dimensions and forms, we have many stories and names and reasons for fear, but as we further and further clarify, we can see that they are all stemming from an original place. My work in unity consciousness alchemy is to unravel all to this original place, this first choice for separation. It has shown me where doubt comes from, how we’ve made guilt to impede every choice we make, further separating us, how we expect punishment, how we’ve so inverted our minds. 

I do believe that as natural alchemists, which we all are as creators in the One, we undertake this process of going through the center to purify and clarify our perception to actually witness and claim the nature of our mind, to see how it works and remember how to align with it’s power to the highest benefit of all. When I open healing meditations, I always intend through the center of all Being-ness. You can’t hold two thought systems or perceptions in the same place. Two things can’t actually be true at once, that negates the definition of truth. If you are using that expression to describe different view points, you are talking about perception. 

When you are trying to “manifest” or change your physical experience and you have not done the work to clarify your perception and unravel fearful belief, you will either emit and experience the opposite of what you are wanting because your belief is opposing it or you will kind of just idle (not to say that you are doing nothing, but it felt like a car idling, it’s on and the engine works fine, but it’s not going anywhere) because you are emitting mixed signals, and mixed signals are returned to you. 

Remember that these are not inherently bad states and they are indeed our most powerful moments when we remember that we can use them all as opportunities to be shown the Truth of what we are. These are our spiritual teachers, no matter how they present themselves to us. These periods of apparent opposition or “stagnation” (triggering lol) ARE the opportunities to remember alchemy and yourself as an alchemist. When we take responsibility for the way that we see, for the choices we are making in our thoughts, to see what beliefs we hold under those thoughts and choose to challenge them when we are disturbed or saddened or discouraged or pained by them, we transform them because we have caught them in our sight. They are not hanging out emitting in the background, you’ve brought them to the light for revelation of what they are. If they are fear they are nothing and they will be perceived as such by spirit, who sees as and in One, which is only love. 

When you rest and see from the center of One, clarity is given you and enlightenment naturally opens from within you to light your way. This is approaching certainty. 

Truth is of Certainty. Certainty is of Creation. Certainty is knowing who you are, knowing that what that means guarantees your ability to create, for creation created you as itself. See it done. Don’t look for confirmation of your True reality in the physical world. It is time to build the new one, leave the old one behind, the one of false laws and limitations of the ego. Healing and creation are not the same. Heal and then create from the healed place. Only when you reunify your mind into the field of One can you do this. Time is for healing, for reunification. This does not mean that good things will not emit from you for you when you are healing, of course they will. We create in a form unknown to us here. Let the worry of this distinction go. (This could be more for me than you, lol. I often get caught up in my desire for these messages to be as clear and understandable as possible when I know that what we are discussing is beyond words and is not of this world). 

Tap into the wonder and limitless possibility of the field. This is for you. Let it delight you that you experience reflected back to and of you what you have made. It is all in the experience of the mind field. This is where creation takes place in unified form. There is no delay between thought of form. It is for the benefit of all so there is no need to stop and consider negative effects. That is an unfathomable concept to unified spirit, to love. It does not exist. 

There is no lag because what you are and what you have are the same. You do not have to wait for what you are to emerge, you are not without the knowledge of it as an inherent and inextricable part of yourself. You do not conceive of anything being a part from you nor is the memory of the dream of separation with you. You do not hold it so it has no effect, it has never been of you to begin with and when you put it down, it disappears. 

You currently do not believe that you are allowed to put it down, that this is possible for you to do so. Nor do you really believe that you have made what you carry, what you feel controlled and limited and caged by, what you allow yourself to be enslaved by, to trap you, to keep yourself from happiness and freedom, but you are being shown. This is the time of revelation. The more willing you are to see it, the easier it will be to let it go from you. 

Guilt is the mechanism that the ego uses to protect itself, as a barrier to Truth. This is from where all defenses spring and what keeps beliefs of indebtedness, punishment, sin, and death running in your mind, keeps these beliefs constantly projecting from you into your experience. It is the false field that carries the memories of all choices and perceived consequences that you made of fear to justify the ego. It is the self-made evidence you point to when you allow yourself to believe the world you made is what you are. 

You make what you defend against. You can only see this when you train your mind to see it. You must open your perception to the eternal Will to do this. The stillness at the center of all Being, from which all Being-ness springs and flows, and all perception held apart within. This is what you are and only this can show you, can call self to self and awaken you from within. Only from these eyes - which again, are not of the body - will you see how you have made this world out of the choice against Self. And it is only with these eyes can you undo it, can you remember yourself and see only your Self, dissolving all that was chosen, all adjustments you made to the Truth. 

You can use the language of black magic and programming as long as you see it as something that you made, that you wrote, and then projected and witnessed played back to you in the form of other people, governments, religions, beings, planets, etc coming from outside of you to attack you. Don’t let narrative story entrap you into continuing belief that there is any power or reality outside of the Self. You are not vulnerable to attack or capable of sin, being hurt, being in pain, being without anything, or capable of dying. These are core beliefs emanating from the first choice against self. All these must be brought forth from within you, challenged, and brought to the light of the truth for real judgment. The spirit perceived fear and death not at all, and so it perceives it as nothing, as should you. 

When fear comes into your awareness, you have chosen from a belief in the false and you must right that second remind yourself that you did so. Do not accept these thoughts and emit them, for this is how we code the matrix experience. You imprint the field and experience that frequential particle pattern. 

Question every thought you have when it disturbs your peace and trace its origin. Your loss of peace tells you where it comes from. It takes less than a moment to do this, but when you do, you save time from being repeated and perpetuated, you bring the experience of the unified field to all through your sight of and from it. You literally change your mind and the quantum reality emanating “from” it, “happening” within it. This is alchemy. This is how you “heal” your body or “manifest” your vision, which is to say “write” or “vibrate into form” a new one in your experience. You sing a different song.