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this is a super deep one, this is really a transmission for when you are bringing out the worst of what you believe about yourself and the world. self-hatred, distrust in god, spirit, yourself. deep deep unworthiness and fear of being seen and known.
defeatism
the beginning idea that came through for this was a healing for disassociation, living in the present, feeling connected to life, and then i unraveled the deeper layers of what is manifesting disconnection and the surreal-ness that can come with healing, waking up to the fact that the world is not our home - the fact that we made the world in defense of the truth of unity is deeply unsettling and the root cause of all suffering.
the ego is slippery, it can dress up as self-awareness just to keep us looping in self-doubt or pain, always chasing healing like it’s some finish line we’ll never reach
healing pressure and expectations that make it difficult to enjoy anything you do because you feel like if it’s not shared with a million people or if you aren’t making money or a career or “side-hustle” out of it (and the energy and resistance that might have just made you want to gag) than it’s not good or not worth it
connecting to real life, not “reality” as we think or believe it is in the world of the dream, connecting deeply love
the quickness to believe attack thoughts or flaws or limitations or criticism, negative things about ourselves but reject compliments or “good” attributes about yourself
taking outside authority as truth rather than the voice of god within
dejection, believing that all will go wrong so why try
overcompensating, the tendency to want to keep doing more to prove worth or to make yourself a success
deep deep grief and heartache wanting to give up, wanting to be elsewhere
anger at god / spirit
feeling like there is no help or help cannot reach you, or that you don’t deserve it / it will be rejected
the belief that the spiritual life requires great sacrifice or that you are going to be stuck in situations you don’t want, the savior / martyrdom shadow complex. the belief that spirit is asking you to suffer or do things you don’t want to do
god’s will for you IS perfect happiness. you deserve to be happy and that is also what god wants for you, the only real power that exists is trying to lead you to this happiness. all that you meet by the way of road blocks are ideas that YOU made up
discernment and practicing not using your ego
desperation
believing that your efforts are worthless and will not bring change
healing the split mind, conflicting beliefs and counter productive energy
healing the belief that you are and will always be condemned to a cage - that there is no way out, that no matter what you do or how hard you try, it will always be that way
underlying belief in curses / cursed destiny - both in the blame that it came from outside as well as from your own inherent ineffectualness
all the reasons you won’t allow yourself to enjoy the moment you are living
all these beliefs in self and the world must be abandoned in order to allow, embody and extend miracle-mindedness
reconnecting to yourself as a creator being in the co-creative field and your own authority. you are not a chess piece being moved and controlled by an invisible hand. this is why paying attention to our emotions and feelings is so crucial - we must see how this imprints and codes the field we experience and perpetuate
this is a super deep one, this is really a transmission for when you are bringing out the worst of what you believe about yourself and the world. self-hatred, distrust in god, spirit, yourself. deep deep unworthiness and fear of being seen and known.
defeatism
the beginning idea that came through for this was a healing for disassociation, living in the present, feeling connected to life, and then i unraveled the deeper layers of what is manifesting disconnection and the surreal-ness that can come with healing, waking up to the fact that the world is not our home - the fact that we made the world in defense of the truth of unity is deeply unsettling and the root cause of all suffering.
the ego is slippery, it can dress up as self-awareness just to keep us looping in self-doubt or pain, always chasing healing like it’s some finish line we’ll never reach
healing pressure and expectations that make it difficult to enjoy anything you do because you feel like if it’s not shared with a million people or if you aren’t making money or a career or “side-hustle” out of it (and the energy and resistance that might have just made you want to gag) than it’s not good or not worth it
connecting to real life, not “reality” as we think or believe it is in the world of the dream, connecting deeply love
the quickness to believe attack thoughts or flaws or limitations or criticism, negative things about ourselves but reject compliments or “good” attributes about yourself
taking outside authority as truth rather than the voice of god within
dejection, believing that all will go wrong so why try
overcompensating, the tendency to want to keep doing more to prove worth or to make yourself a success
deep deep grief and heartache wanting to give up, wanting to be elsewhere
anger at god / spirit
feeling like there is no help or help cannot reach you, or that you don’t deserve it / it will be rejected
the belief that the spiritual life requires great sacrifice or that you are going to be stuck in situations you don’t want, the savior / martyrdom shadow complex. the belief that spirit is asking you to suffer or do things you don’t want to do
god’s will for you IS perfect happiness. you deserve to be happy and that is also what god wants for you, the only real power that exists is trying to lead you to this happiness. all that you meet by the way of road blocks are ideas that YOU made up
discernment and practicing not using your ego
desperation
believing that your efforts are worthless and will not bring change
healing the split mind, conflicting beliefs and counter productive energy
healing the belief that you are and will always be condemned to a cage - that there is no way out, that no matter what you do or how hard you try, it will always be that way
underlying belief in curses / cursed destiny - both in the blame that it came from outside as well as from your own inherent ineffectualness
all the reasons you won’t allow yourself to enjoy the moment you are living
all these beliefs in self and the world must be abandoned in order to allow, embody and extend miracle-mindedness
reconnecting to yourself as a creator being in the co-creative field and your own authority. you are not a chess piece being moved and controlled by an invisible hand. this is why paying attention to our emotions and feelings is so crucial - we must see how this imprints and codes the field we experience and perpetuate
